When I think about this last experience of giving birth, I can recall every detail so vividly. I can play it over and over again in my mind, and always I can feel the most overwhelming feeling of gratitude and relief that Avery Jaden came to us safely and healthy. That's all a mother really asks for when the final moment comes. And for us, that
moment came at an extra-special time: the day before Mother's Day.

I truly believe in the intuition of mothers, and part of that belief comes from my strong intuition that Avery was going to come to us by Mother's Day. I just had a feeling deep inside my heart, and I just knew. Even though I had gone to my doctor's appointment on Friday
and was told that I was still only 2cm dilated, I told her that I had a feeling they would be seeing me that weekend.

As that Friday night dragged along, I kept feeling "different," yet it was a feeling I can't explain. It was as though something was telling me that things were happening in my body--I could just sense it. So I told Manish to be on alert when he went to work that night. And I proceeded to keep myself busy doing the things that mothers do when the little ones are sleeping, like getting laundry folded and put away, cleaning up what I could around the house, and trying to keep myself busy as my body kept working towards bringing Avery home.

The night somehow was passing me by, and all of a sudden the contractions, which I did not want to acknowledge as such at the time, were becoming more prominent and a little bit tougher to ignore. At around 1am, the contractions were quite noticeable and dear Nisha kept me company from far away. But in the time we were talking, they kept getting more intense, enough that I had to move around and around the house instead. By 3AM, I was in a great deal of pain, so I called Manish to let him know that we would definitely be going to the hospital after he got home from work. I wanted him to finish off the shift, and I thought I could handle the pain until then.

However, I was quite mistaken. In just the next hour, I was in such incredible pain that I could barely finish a sentence on the phone with my mother or my sister, as the contractions were one after another after another. My parents were on their way, and I told Manish to come home right away, that I could bear the pain no longer. Those were the strongest contractions I had ever experienced up to that point in time.

As soon as my parents came, Manish and I took off to the hospital. It was so difficult to get through those contractions sitting there in his car. I was getting worried at the same time because he was driving a little bit fast, but I was in too much pain to complain to him about it. I was so relieved when Arnold Palmer Hospital was in sight, but so crazy with anger when Manish passed right by it! He quickly made a u-turn and at around 4:45AM, we were in the building and I could barely even stand.

I remember being whizzed around in the wheelchair, made to lay down on the table so the nurse could check me. I remember more unbearable contractions in between all of this. When she checked to see how far dilated I was, I remember being so frightened to hear that I wasn't going to be dilated enough. I needed to be 4cm or more, and I was going to lose my mind if I was told I was any less than that. But when the nurse told me I was indeed 4cm, I was so extremely grateful
to her, more than she will ever know.

Before I knew it, I was being wheeled away in the bed to another bed, into the Labor and Delivery room. The nurse there was pretty rough, but in retrospect I truly needed to be spoken to with some edge at the time. I had to focus, as I was breathing so hard I thought I was going to pass out. I finally began to get myself together in the midst of all the pain, holding on to Manish's hand for support. I reminded myself that I had been through this before and that I could do it
again. Manish kept reminding me that he was there for me and that everything was going to be okay, that Avery was ok, and that I was doing great. I think no matter what, when you are in labor, everyone tells you that you are "doing great," but it really does give you motivation during those rough moments there when you feel like you might lose all control.

When the anesthesiologist came to administer the epidural, I was so relieved to see his face not only because he was bringing me pain relief, but because he was the same anesthesiologist that gave me my epidural when I was about to give birth to Kieran! He is incredibly good at his job, as he had my epidural working with Kieran's labor within 5 minutes, and this time around I think it took only 2 minutes, and I mean that literally. I went from being in such a state of pain and distress to complete relief , a relief in which I could finally make sense of what was going on again. Coincidentally, it was also his birthday that day, so now he and Avery share a birthday. We thought that was too neat!

Since the epidural took effect quite quickly, Manish and I decided to nap, as neither of us had gotten any sleep the night before. As we slept, I kept getting checked and had progressed to 6cm on my own. The nurse midwife came in to break my water a little while later, and I was given a small amount of pitocin to move things along. Avery was still pretty high up inside, but I did dilate to about 9cm before he decided to start making his descent so he could come out and see us finally.

The nurses put a fetal monitor on his head to get a more accurate reading on his heartbeat towards the latter part of the labor. I kept reminding them all about my concerns over his umbilical cord. We were told that in the last sonogram a few weeks prior that it was wrapped around his neck one time. I kept worrying that this would cause complications in the delivery. A close eye was kept on his heartbeat, and as I made it to 10cm to start pushing, I remember the
nurse getting everything ready and calling around for the nurse midwife a bit frantically. She had mentioned that they could tell the cord was "starting to bother him now" and she told me "you need to get him out now." I was so frightened and so many other feelings that I cannot explain. I kept fearing that something horrible was going to happen to him right at the time when he was going to come out. I felt myself panicking, although I don't think anyone noticed. I was trying to
remain calm and would stop and ask, "But he's ok, right?" and they would assure me he was fine, but that "he needs to come out now..."

The nurse midwife came and they moved quickly from there. The table I was on was converted so that I could deliver him. I sat up, and Manish once again helped to hold up my legs. They all kept talking about how I wouldn't have to do much at all in terms of pushing to get
get him out. I was worried how I was going to do, and if the umbilical cord was going to hurt him. As I started pushing, the nurse midwife told me to stop and to slow down with little pushes instead. When I delivered Spekky and Kieran, I dared not look down there to see what was happening, but with Avery I was so worried that I couldn't keep myself from looking to make sure that he was all right. I saw his head but I did not hear any sounds coming from him. I became so scared and anxious in those few seconds of silence as the nurse midwife told me to
push those "little pushes" only. I saw her free Avery from the umbilical cord, pulling it over his tiny little head. I held my breath as I waited for him to cry, but was told to push again instead. As
I did, he just slipped out ever-so-quickly and within seconds, he was placed on my chest, in my arms, and in an instant I was a mother of three boys, a mother in tears.

I can't really describe exactly how I felt when Avery was given to me to finally hold in my arms. I can say that I felt so happy to finally be able to see him, hold him, and kiss him. But, more than that, I was relieved to see that he made it to us healthy and that he was safe. I was feeling so worried and scared throughout most of the pregnancy, but I tried hard to not let that get to me the last few months. But when Avery was freshly put in my arms, I couldn't help but
cry and thank God that Avery was healthy! No matter what, that was what mattered most to me while I was pregnant with him, and I was so scared that everything had been so perfect lately that something was bound to go wrong when it came to Avery being born. The complications with
the umbilical cord heightened that fear in me, but thankfully the nurse midwife was very careful and brought him out safely to us, and completing our little family.

That first night that I spent with Avery is one of those special nights in my life that I will always treasure so deeply in my heart. As with Spencer and with Kieran, it was our time to bond, just the two of us, as mother and son, so close together after having been such a part of each other for nine months. He was sleeping soundly in the bassinette, but I couldn't leave him there and just go to sleep. I had to take him out and bring him close to me, to the warmth of my body, so I lay him next to me in the bed. I talked to him about our family, our world, and told him of the love I feel for him and always will. And we shared so much more than that in the silence of the night, and I felt his innocence in his cries of hunger, gas, and sleepiness. As I watched him sleeping, I was reminded of the miracle he was, how he had just been in my belly a few hours before, and now he was here, with me in the world on the outside, ready to grow, love, and learn in our family. I kissed him so many times and thanked God over and over. And I begged God to help me to be the best mother I can possibly be to all of my three boys, to give me the patience to handle all of them, as I know it will be challenging and even overwhelming at times. But even with those worries, nothing could take away from the joy and love that I felt that first night with Avery, just looking forward to a future with him in our lives.

Although I am relieved to be done having any more children, I will always treasure the time I was pregnant with each of the boys. For Avery, he holds a special place in my heart as the final little one that shared life with me for nine months of my life. He was the last to kick inside my belly, the last to tickle me with his burps, and the last to keep me up all night with having to go to the bathroom very often. He was the last miracle to come from me, the last test of my strength, and the last one to make me even stronger than I was the day before. But now that he is out here with us, I am so happy to just hold him, rub noses with him, and love him every minute and every day for the rest of my life. He is, along with his brothers, my baby, and he will always be the baby of my babies, even when he grows up to be a man of his own someday.